Dude, Man up! You barely even hit the backboard.
Ep1 The Beginning of the End: The camp splits. Hurley is going with his friend named "NotJack." Buncha peeps follow the crazyace Locke despite the fact they just saw him kill a woman. Sawyer's survivin'. Jack shoots Locke (heehee Fake bullets!) Claire is sad forthislong that Charlie died. Kate snuggles Jack at the cockpit fondly remembering the moment they saw the pilot gruesomely torn apart. Kate hears thunder. It's not thunder! It's Daniel Faraday (honest mistake!) Meanwhile in FF Hurley gets himself all "crazied up" and committed again so he can protect himself from a Charlie-Ghost that tells him "they need you." Jack visits and shoots the worst basketball shot anyone has ever seen anyone shoot in the history of mankind. (That's all I remember from that scene--it was such a shockingly bad shot.)
Ep2 Confirmed Dead: We learn more about the freighter folk AND we learn that flight 815 was recovered with all passengers "confirmed dead" in the bottom of the Sunda Trench. So just like that we realize that "Purgatory" was the answer to Lost all along.
BUT wait.... More about the freighter folk:
Miles: He....hears.....dead....people.
Faraday: kinda smart, kinda weird. Thinks the "light doesn't quite scatter right." Likes to play with rockets.
Charlotte: Has red hair and speaks many languages.
Frank Lapidus: Was supposed to be flying 815. Talk about a close call. Might be Kenny Rogers.
Naomi: She's dead now so who cares?
Ep 3: The Economist.
Spoiler: he is not an economist! Sayid kills people and is all buddy-buddy with Ben.
"No one gets away with a Double Bogey on the 17th Hole. It's a Par three. I will kill you!"
Also, Sayid and Nadia are married!!! YAY!!!! But sadly Nadia is dead. Darn. There went that $100 I bet that Sadia was Lost's OTP.On island: Sayid trades Miles for Charlotte. Not sure if this was good trade or not. Jack tells Kate she should go back to barracks with Sayid....oops, somebody forgot there was a Redneckwholikestosleepwithyourgirlfriend at the barracks!! Predictably, Kate somehow forgets her way home from the barracks. Jack is sad.
Ep 4: Eggtown. Kate has a son! It must be Sawyer's. She tells Sawyer she isn't pregnant. Oh, man! It must be Jack's!!! Jack wants to get "coffee" (wink, wink) with Kate but he does NOT want to go back to her place... whaaat!? Oh geez, it must be Sawyer's baby afterall but she lied to him about being pregnant and now Jack is sooo jealous and won't go back to see the baby and......
Aaron??? Did she just call him Aaron? As in Claire's Aaron? Oh man, Claire is so dead.
Ep5: The Constant: Requires a rewatch. Awesomeness of it cannot be put into writing.
Daniel's Notebook holds the secrets to all of life...er, Lost.
BTW If you don't cry at the end of this episode than you either have had your tear ducts removed or are NOT Jack Shephard.
Ep 6: The Other Woman: Juliet ep. She had an affair with Goodwyn. Ben was very, very jealous and had him killed. Jack kissed Juliet and said that Ben knows where to find him. Which is true. Ahh, that's pretty much it.
Jack appears to be "proving that he's not in love with someone else." Yep, that's just what I thought he was doing.
Ep 7: Ji Yeon: Sun goes into labour. She wants Jin. He is too busy trying to find a huge stuffed Panda to bother with it. Sun has a little girl and names her um... Ji Yeon. Hurley isn't too busy for Sun but none of the other O6 come. Sun is glad b/c she cannot stand Aaron. (J/K) Hurley takes Sun where every new mom wants to go...to a cemetary. Jin is still looking for the dang Panda. Hurley and Sun visit Jin - who apparently died while looking for the panda but OMG since I am proficient in Korean (read:in reading smarter people's translation of Korean) we know that Jin's marker shows him dying on the day of the plane crash. Mark Jin off of that Oceanic 6 listie-thingie.
Jin's tombstone which clearly reads: "I caught all that damn fish for you people and still you leave without me?"
Meanwhile on the island: Juliet tells Jin about Sun's affair and gets herself slaaaaaapppped! And Jin and Bernard go fishing! Fun times!
Ep: 8 Meet Kevin Johnson. Kevin is Ben's "man on the boat." Kevin Johnson is Michael soooo Michael is Ben's "man on the boat." Also, Walt HATES Kevin Johnson. Michael should have picked another name.
Walt is thinking "nosnhoJ niveK etah I."
Next: Writers' strike occurred here. Will be back in approximately 6 weeks for continuation.
